A Second Chance
by BettyHall223
Summary: Sam had not seen Jack in over a year. Coming to his cabin could be the wisest or the most foolish decision she had ever made.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are not my property

_Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are not my property. No copyright infringement is intended._

Sam drove up the dirt road and stopped the car, got out and looked around. She could certainly understand why Jack loved it here. The landscape was quiet and peaceful with the trees gently swaying in the breeze and the birds chirping in the distance. She noticed a rabbit sitting in the grass. It stared at her for a few seconds then hopped away. She heard the rustle of leaves and looked up in a tree to see a squirrel jumping from branch to branch.

The sun felt warm on her face and she closed her eyes for a few moments, taking deep breaths of the fresh air. She opened her eyes and looked around again, hoping Jack was here since his truck was parked beside his cabin.

She walked up on the porch, knocked on the door and waited. Getting no response, she came around the side of the cabin to see Jack at the edge of the woods, chopping a tree. He wasn't wearing a shirt and she watched as he swung an axe, his muscles taut on his shoulders and arms as the perspiration glistened on his tanned skin. With all of the physical labor he apparently did here at his cabin, he appeared to be in great shape.

Sam swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared in her throat. Seeing him again stirred the strong feelings she had always felt for him, but rarely admitted to herself, until recently, just how strong those feelings really were.

Sitting several feet away but watching Jack's every move was a golden retriever.

As Jack stopped to wipe his brow, the dog trotted over to him and he reached down to pet the attentive dog. The dog turned its head, saw Sam watching and started to bark. Jack looked up and he and Sam stared at each other for several moments.

Jack's breath caught in his throat. It had been more than a year since they had last seen each other. She had shown up at his house in Colorado the day before her wedding and asked him to come but he had refused. A few days later, he had retired from the Air Force and now lived here at his secluded cabin.

Jack put on his shirt and slowly walked toward Sam as the dog followed. He replayed in his mind the last time they had seen each other. In their last conversation, they had argued about her wedding.

_Sam stood in his kitchen with tears in her eyes._

_"Why won't you be there, sir?"_

_He stood with his hands braced against the sink but quickly turned to face her._

_"You really want to know?"_

_"Yes, I do."_

_"Because I think you're making a mistake."_

_Sam crossed her arms over her chest. "Why?"_

_"Well, let's just consider for a moment. Pete did a background check on you because he doesn't trust you; he could have gotten everyone killed during our surveillance of Osiris; he doesn't like your career and wants you to leave the Air Force; he bought a house without your approval; he doesn't accept you as you are and is trying to change you, etcetera, etcetera. Need I say more?"_

_"Are those the only reasons?" Sam asked nervously._

_He breathed a deep sigh and was determined to finally say what he had been feeling for so long. "No, those aren't the only reasons. I care about you, Sam, more than I've ever cared about any other woman in my entire life. At one time I thought we could have had something great together but you got engaged to this bozo and broke my heart. Do all these reasons explain why I won't come to your wedding?"_

_"Why didn't you tell me this before?" she asked as she raised her voice._

_He walked up to her and stared into her eyes. "Because I thought you already knew! You found out how I felt about you four years ago!"_

_His heart was breaking and he couldn't take it any more. He had watched her over the last few months, wearing an engagement ring and planning her wedding. And now, she was here in his house asking him to do the impossible. He couldn't watch her marry someone else._

_He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the door. "Go, Carter! Marry him! I hope you'll be happy!"_

_"Jack, please!"_

_He opened the door and she stepped outside. She turned to look at him and a tear slipped down her cheek. He slammed the door before she could say anything else. He stood there trying to control his breathing and clinched his fists. He ran his hand through his hair as he paced back and forth in the hallway for a few moments. He walked over to the window and peeked through the blinds. Sam was standing beside her car, staring at his front door as tears fell down her cheeks. He watched as she wiped her eyes, got into her car and drove away._

_He walked slowly to the sofa and sat down, buried his face in his hands and wept, knowing he had lost her for good._

_The next day after Sam's wedding, Daniel came by his house. When he told him about Sam's visit and their argument, Daniel had understood why he had not been there._

They now stood several feet from each other.

Jack wasn't sure what to do or say as he stared at her. She was dressed in jeans and a light blue sweater. She looked too thin, in his opinion, and her hair was longer, but she was still the most attractive woman he had ever known.

"Carter."

Sam took a step closer. "Hello, Jack."

He walked to the porch and leaned the axe against the railing. The dog sat down and stared at Sam as Jack turned to face her. "What are you doing here?"

"I . . . I had to see you."

"Why? I thought we said everything we needed to say the last time I saw you" he said in a gruff manner.

"You're not going to make this easy, are you?"

"Why should I? You got what you wanted. You married Pete."

Sam crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the ground. "And divorced him."

Jack frowned and wasn't sure if he had heard her correctly. "You . . . you what?"

"You were right. The marriage was a mistake. We're divorced."

Jack stared at her.

Sam knew she was losing her confidence, thinking this had to be the hardest thing she had ever done.

"I never should have . . . oh never mind. I should have known better than to come here."

She quickly turned around and hurried toward her car but Jack went after her, grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him.

"Oh no you don't, Sam. Running away again like you always do? You ran for years from your feelings but you show up now wanting to talk?"

Sam glared at him. "Yes, I want to talk to you, but how about you talk to me, Jack? You're the one who threw me out of your house the day we last saw each other. You've never been big on talking so don't blame everything that happened on me! There were so many times you could have told me you still cared about me but you didn't until the day before my wedding!"

Jack put his hands on his hips. "So why now? You come here telling me you're divorced and think you'll just waltz right back into my life, accept you with open arms like nothing happened? It doesn't work that way, Sam! I'm not made of stone! I do have feelings and you took every one of those feelings and carelessly threw them away!"

Jack turned around and stalked toward his cabin.

Sam tried to calm down and knew it was now or never. If they didn't talk now, she knew they would go through the rest of their lives never speaking to each other again, eaten up with bitterness and resentment.

She hurried after him. "Okay. I'm not running. I'm right here."

He stopped abruptly and turned around. Their eyes met again and she knew that he was trying to calm himself as well.

She looked at him as a little of the tension left his face and saw his shoulders relax. "Come in" he finally said.

She followed him into the cabin and looked around. It seemed homey, warm and inviting, just as she had always pictured his cabin to be. She stood there not moving, uncertain what she should do.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"A soda if you have it."

Jack disappeared into the kitchen, came back with two sodas and handed one to her as he took a sip of his own.

He waved her to a chair and Jack sat down on the sofa.

Just as Sam sat down, a big gray cat came into the room.

"You have a cat too? I thought you were just a dog person."

"I heard her crying one night on the porch during a storm when she was just a kitten. She was dirty and almost starved to death. I felt sorry for her, nursed her back to health and . . . there she is."

The cat stood still and stared at her. Sam slowly held out her hand to see if the cat would come to her. It took a few tentative steps, then jumped up on her lap and lay down.

Sam ran her hand over the cat's soft fur. "How old is she?"

"About a year."

"What's her name?"

Jack hesitated a moment, glanced at her, then looked back at the cat. "Sam."

Sam grinned. "Really? You named your cat after me?"

He took another sip of his drink. "She reminded me of you."

Sam sat back in the chair. "How?"

"Independent, friendly and curious."

Sam smiled.

"What's the dog's name?"

"Her name's Lady. So, I'll ask again. Why are you here?"

Sam took a deep breath. "Would you let me talk without interrupting?"

He set up straighter on the sofa. "Talk away."

"I made a big mistake, Jack, just as you said I would."

She paused for a moment.

"On my wedding day, I came down the aisle and saw General Hammond, Daniel, Teal'c and other people that I care about and I was hoping you had changed your mind. Even after the ceremony as Pete and I walked out, I looked around to see if you might have slipped in at the last minute, but you weren't there. I was hoping, even though we had argued, that you would show up, be there for me as my friend."

She stopped and took a sip of her soda as Jack waited.

"Pete and I were relatively happy at first, then we started to argue a lot. He didn't like me working so much in my lab or going off-world. He didn't like me spending any time with my friends. Whenever I was off duty he wanted me all to himself, he was constantly checking up on me. The whole situation was suffocating."

Sam stopped and Jack saw a flash of sadness cross her face.

"Ten months after Pete and I were married . . ."

She paused again and stared at the floor.

"I found out I was pregnant."

Jack turned his head and looked away, feeling as though he had just been kicked in the stomach. So many times he had dreamed of them getting married and having children. He tried not to change his expression, took a sip of his soda and kept listening.

"I didn't want to go off-world any more since I was pregnant, I felt it was too dangerous and General Hammond agreed, so he put me in charge of all the scientists. Just a few weeks after we found out about the pregnancy, General Hammond had to lock down the base. While that was happening, Dr. Felger and I had a problem with one of the experiments we were running in my lab and we had to find a solution. Lockdown lasted three days and Pete couldn't get in touch with me. When I finally got home, I was tired and stressed and I tried to explain to Pete that what happened was beyond my control, but the only part he really listened to was the part about Dr. Felger. He wanted to know who he was and how long we had worked together. I told him that Dr. Felger and Chloe were married but he just wouldn't let me explain."

Jack held up his hand and raised his eyebrows. "Excuse me. Felger and Chloe are married?"

Sam smiled. "Yes, they are. They're very happy and they make a really cute couple."

Sam took a deep breath and her expression grew serious again. "I tried to tell Pete that Dr. Felger and I were just co-workers and that I most definitely didn't have any romantic feelings for him. He wouldn't believe that there was nothing going on between us. He started to question me about Daniel, Teal'c, every man I worked with that he had met. He even insinuated that the baby wasn't his. I couldn't take any more of his questions, his insecurity and possessiveness so I hurriedly packed a bag and told him I was going to stay in a hotel for the night. He didn't try to stop me."

Sam paused as tears came to her eyes and she gripped the arms of the chair.

"It was raining very hard and, unfortunately, I was driving while I was upset. I ran a red light and hit another car. The next thing I knew I woke up in the hospital to see Pete standing over me, but he wasn't concerned about me. Naturally, the first thing I asked was if the baby was okay. He said 'thanks to you, no it isn't. The baby is dead.' He said it so callously and walked out."

She quickly wiped her eyes.

"Daniel and Teal'c hardly left my side while I was in the hospital. When I was released, they drove me home and stayed with me. I cried for days, blaming myself for killing my baby."

The cat jumped off her lap, walked over to where Jack sat, jumped up on the sofa and lay down beside him. He put his hand on top of the cat and gently stroked her fur.

"Daniel wanted to call and tell you how upset I was after losing the baby. He knew that you had, at one time, cared about me. He thought I might need your friendship while I was going through that, but I wasn't so sure how you would react, so I begged him not to get in touch with you."

Jack stared straight ahead.

"Pete moved out of the house and went back to Denver. A few days later I got a call from an attorney, telling me that Pete had started divorce proceedings and we communicated only through our attorneys."

She stopped and looked out the window.

"To be honest about it, I was more upset about losing the baby than I was about my marriage falling apart. I may not have loved Pete the way I should have, but I loved my baby and I wanted so much to be a mother. Even if I hadn't lost it, I don't think our marriage would have survived. I should have known it would never work. We were too different, had different expectations of what marriage should be and we didn't know each other really well. We sold the house and I bought another one closer to the base."

Sam suddenly stood up and walked over to the window and stood very still.

Jack watched her. So many times he had seen her stand like this when they were off-world, with her back rigid, her breathing shallow, instincts on high alert, ready to pounce at the least provocation. He had seen her on the battlefield, and now she was raging a battle within herself, trying to make clear her feelings, trying to explain to him why she had come here. He knew it had taken a lot of determination and raw nerve to face him, knowing that he might turn her away. He sat silently, giving her the courtesy of not interrupting until she was finished.

Sam finally turned to face him and folded her arms over her chest. "After the divorce was final, I wanted to leave the Air Force."

Jack's eyes grew big. "You did?"

"Yes, I did. General Hammond didn't want me to and told me to take some time off to think things through so I took his advice. I had a lot of leave saved up so I took it. I went to see Mark for a few weeks. I enjoyed the time I spent with him and his family, especially getting to know my niece and nephew a lot better, but it was also very hard. Being around the kids and having just lost my own . . ."

She paused as she tried not to cry and sat back down.

"After staying with Mark, I traveled overseas to some of the places I'd always wanted to visit. I would lie awake at night in strange cities, trying to decide what direction my life was headed. I went back to the Springs and gave General Hammond my resignation, telling him I just didn't feel I belonged there any more. He didn't like it but he understood that after going through the divorce and losing the baby, I needed a change. He wished me well and told me that if I ever wanted to return and work as a civilian, I would always be welcomed back with open arms."

"I still don't know what I'm going to do next, with my career that is. I guess part of that depends on what happens now. I had to come here and say this to you."

Jack wasn't sure if he wanted to know any more but he had told her he would hear her out.

Sam clasped her hands in her lap. "So many nights when I was in some strange country, I would lie awake, taking a really good look at myself. I finally had to tear down those walls and face my fears. The walls that dealt with me, not just the soldier or the scientist part of me but as a woman, to feel those feelings that I had so long suppressed. The part that I never let anyone else see, the part that Pete didn't even know. I'm here because it took me awhile to get it through my thick head that what I wanted most, more than a career, more than accolades from anyone, more than anything . . ." she stopped to gauge her next words . . . "I wanted . . . you."

Jack lifted his eyebrows and stared at her.

"Through all the years we worked together, there was a connection with you that I've never had with another man. I don't just mean how we related when you were my CO and whether we were on Earth or some distant planet. You have always understood the soldier in me. Never judged me or criticized me, accepted my intelligence, understood my logic, my thinking. You just let me be myself. But there was one side of me that I always hid from you, the part of me I wanted you to know so badly. The woman with desires, wants and needs. The woman who wants to love someone and be loved for herself. Unconditionally. The woman that doesn't want to suppress her emotions any more. The woman that's allowed to cry when she's hurting, worried, upset or lonely. The woman that needs a hug sometimes. The woman that's allowed to be vulnerable, the feminine side of Samantha."

She stood, walked to the sofa and sat down beside Jack, but he couldn't bring himself to look at her so he stared at the floor.

"I came here because I want you to get to know me as a woman, because I need you in my life."

She took his hand in hers as he turned his head and looked into her eyes. "I love you, Jack."

Jack's heart beat faster as he stared at her, not knowing what to say.

"There . . . I finally said it. I never allowed myself to think it. I was never allowed to say that to you, not just because of the regulations but because I was afraid of giving you my heart, afraid of loving you so much. I should have realized a long time ago that you mean more to me than any job, you mean more to me than any other man I've ever known. Through my own stupidity, I tried to love Pete because I was allowed to. But he wasn't who I loved or who I really needed or wanted and I ended up hurting you in the process. I'm taking the biggest risk of my life by coming here and I'm putting my future in your hands."

She pulled a small piece of paper from the pocket of her jeans and put it in his hand. "That's my cell phone number. I want to give you time to think about what I've said. I'm staying at a hotel in town and I'll be here for a week. If I haven't heard from you by Sunday morning, I'll never bother you again. I do realize that if you don't want this, then this may be the last time I'll ever see you, but I hope you'll give serious thought to what I've said and give us a chance. I know I've hurt you deeply and I'm truly sorry. I know I'm asking a lot but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. If this is the last time I'll see you, Jack, please know that I want you to be happy whether I'm in your life or not."

He watched as Sam stood and walked to the door. She turned and looked back at him as tears pooled in her eyes. They stared at each other for a few moments and she walked out.

Jack sat very still as he heard her car start and listened to the noise of the engine fade away as he stared at the piece of paper in his hand.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Jack stood and slowly walked into the kitchen for a glass of water, still holding the piece of paper. He drank the water, returned to the living room, sat down with a loud sigh and tried to comprehend everything Sam had just told him.

'Surprise' wasn't quite the word to describe how he felt about her showing up here. He often wondered how he would react if he saw her again. Just to see her standing in his yard had wrenched his heart even more than he ever thought possible. It hurt just as much now as it had the day they had argued at his house.

Every day since his retirement he had thought about her. She always found a way to creep into his thoughts and his dreams. So many nights he would lie awake missing her and wondering if she was happy.

He'd had a lot of time to think since retiring and realized that not all of what had happened between them was her fault. He knew he should have spoken up sooner to let her know how he felt about her marriage to Pete, instead of waiting until the day before her wedding, but he had always found it difficult to share his feelings with anyone.

He and Sam had now gone through divorces and both had lost their children, although he had lost Charlie in a totally different way than Sam had lost her child.

His cat jumped off the sofa and began to cry. Jack followed her into the kitchen, opened a can of cat food and dumped it into her bowl. She immediately started to eat as he put water in her water dish and set it down beside her.

He went back to the living room and looked out the window to where Sam's car had been.

Since he had retired, he and Daniel talked occasionally. Every time he had come so close to asking about Sam, but his pride always kept him from doing so and Daniel didn't volunteer any information. The last time Daniel had called had been just a few weeks ago and he had been wondering if she and Pete had started a family. He didn't ask, not wanting to know if Sam had a child when he had wanted so much for them to have kids together.

Sam had always had an innocence about her, always seeing the good in people, whereas he saw the bad. That was one of her many qualities he loved the most, he had fallen in love with her kindness. When they had worked together, he didn't know anyone at the base that didn't like Sam. She made friends easily wherever she went, both male and female.

He couldn't count how many times he had witnessed the effect her beauty had on men, whether on Earth or another planet. It was something that he, Daniel and Teal'c had just come to expect and although they were all aware of how independent she could be, he also knew that there had been times that she was thankful to have them with her when a man admired her beauty a little too much.

It was difficult to believe that she had resigned her commission with the Air Force. He had never known another person who enjoyed their job as much as Sam enjoyed hers. He had seen her eyes light up so many times when she made a new discovery or solved some mathematical problem that was way over his head. He realized how upset she must have been to walk away from her job and her close friendship with Daniel and Teal'c to make such a drastic change in her life.

Sam had asked him to forgive her but forgiving someone had never been easy for him. With everything he had done in his black ops days, being imprisoned and tortured, it was hard for him to forgive anyone. But this wasn't just anyone. This was Sam and he knew he hadn't stopped loving her. She had bared her soul to him and it was the most honest she had ever been with him.

She had said the three words that he had always wanted to hear her say. But was it enough? Could he really forgive her for hurting him and breaking his heart? Did he dare take the risk of letting her back into his life?

He breathed deeply as he quickly brushed away the tears that suddenly appeared.

He went outside and sat down in a chair on the porch. Lady walked over to him, sat down and lay her head on his knee. He gently petted Lady as he thought about everything Sam had said.

--

Sam waited until she was inside her hotel room before she let the tears come. She lay down on the bed, pulled a pillow to her chest and sobbed.

Seeing Jack again had sent her into a tailspin. He was even more handsome now than the last time she had seen him and she literally ached when she realized how much she loved him.

Getting away from the demands of his job at Stargate Command had been good for him. Gone were the deeper lines in his face and he didn't have that tired look that she had seen so often the last few months they had worked together, but she also realized that her engagement had caused a lot of that stress.

She had missed Jack, his teasing and sense of humor. He could always cheer her up whenever she was sad, disappointed or just having a bad day. There had been so many times he would wander into her lab, sit down beside her and watch her work. Talking wasn't always necessary, they just enjoyed each other's presence.

When she returned to the base after her honeymoon, she was stunned that Jack had retired. She should have known that her marriage would cause a huge change in their relationship. Daniel told her that Jack couldn't bear to see her every day. Little by little she realized just how much Jack cared about her when he had given up a job that she knew he greatly enjoyed.

_Several weeks after her wedding, she and Daniel were in his lab working on a translation when he mentioned that he had talked with Jack the night before. She casually asked how he was. Daniel laid down the book he was holding, braced his hands against the desk and looked at her._

_"He isn't doing too well."_

_She glanced at him. "Why?"_

_"Because he misses you and he's still upset that you married Pete. To be honest about it, I don't think he'll ever get over it, Sam."_

_Her heart began to beat faster as she stared at her computer and remained silent._

_Realizing she wasn't going to respond, Daniel picked up the book again. "Let's get back to work."_

When she told Daniel that she and Pete were divorcing, he was not surprised. Being the good friend that he had always tried to be, and not being judgmental, he let her know that he would be there for her whenever she needed him. Daniel and Teal'c had proven their friendship countless times, especially during the weeks after she lost the baby and the subsequent divorce.

She got up and looked out the window to the street below. What would she do and where would she go if Jack didn't want anything to do with her? She couldn't blame him if he didn't call, her actions had deeply hurt him.

She didn't want to live in Colorado Springs any more, the city held too many memories; memories of Pete and Jack, although neither was there any longer.

She missed Daniel, Teal'c and General Hammond but they had promised to stay in touch.

She thought about teaching or getting a job overseas. With her doctorate degree she knew there were many employment possibilities. But as she had come to realize over these last months, she didn't want to live the rest of her life without Jack. The tears started again but she choked them back.

Turning from the window, she went into the bathroom to wash her face. As she looked into the mirror, she once again realized how pale and thin she had become since losing the baby and the stress of the divorce.

She just couldn't think about Jack any more right now, so she grabbed her keys and purse to take a drive and hopefully clear her head a little. She got into the car and made sure her cell phone was on in case Jack called, but she knew he wouldn't call this soon, if he ever did.

She took the same road out of town that led to Jack's place but when she came to the turnoff that went to his cabin, she kept going and drove a few miles.

Realizing she had been too nervous all day to eat, she was now getting hungry. She saw a roadside diner, stopped and went inside.

She finished a sandwich and held a cup of coffee in her hands as she stared out the window. She turned her head and realized that the woman who had taken her order was standing beside her.

"I know that look."

Sam glanced up at the woman who appeared to be in her sixties. "What look?"

"The look that I've seen on a lot of faces. You have man problems and a lady as pretty as you shouldn't have man problems."

Sam smiled. "You're very observant."

"In all my years there isn't much I haven't seen. Mind if I sit?"

Sam glanced around and realized that since it was the middle of the afternoon, there were very few customers so the woman wasn't busy.

"Sure" Sam answered as the woman sat down across from her and held out her hand.

"My name's Bev, short for Beverly. And your name?"

Sam shook Bev's hand. "I'm Sam."

"Let me guess, your dad wanted a boy."

Sam grinned. "No, my mom liked the name Samantha. Everyone calls me Sam."

"I like Samantha too. It's very pretty. Now, want to talk about it? I'm pretty good at giving advice, just ask Joe, my husband. He's the cook behind the counter. We own the diner."

Sam turned around and glanced at a man who appeared to be about the same age as Bev.

"He's always telling me I'm too nosey but I think most people appreciate having someone to tell their troubles to. I have excellent hearing and an even better attention span, so talk if you want to. I've never seen you around here before. Just passing through?"

Sam didn't know what to think of this total stranger offering to hear her problems. It had been a long time since she had a female to talk with and she found herself warming up to this woman with kind eyes.

"No, I'm not from around here. I was in the Air Force in Colorado Springs for a long time but recently resigned my commission."

"Is that so? Joe and I have a friend that used to be in the Air Force too but he retired over a year ago. He comes in quite often just to have a piece of Joe's pies. Joe makes the best pies you ever tasted."

Sam smiled and picked up a glass of water and took a sip.

"Anyway, don't guess you would happen to know him. His name is Jack O'Neill."

Sam quickly swallowed the water and started to cough. She put her hand to her chest, then stared at Bev and Bev started to smile.

"Oh, don't tell me. Jack O'Neill is the man that has you upset?"

Sam looked down at the table.

"Well, small world isn't it? Can't say that I blame you for being upset over Jack, he's a great looking guy. Intelligent, funny and kind. Let me tell you, he really turns the women's heads when he walks in here. I've had several of them ask me who he is and if he's married."

Sam bit her lip and tried not to feel jealous.

"He and Joe get together with a few other guys to play poker occasionally. Jack's a good man."

Sam tightened her grip on the glass of water. "Yes, he is."

"Joe and I have known Jack for a long time. Jack, Sara and Charlie used to come here when they were at their cabin."

Bev paused for a moment.

"Such a shame what happened to Charlie."

"Yes, it was."

"Then Jack and Sara getting a divorce."

Sam nodded her head.

"You know, I sit and talk with Jack sometimes when he's here. After what happened with his family, it took him a long time to open up to me but once he did, we became friends. I asked him recently if there was someone else in his life and he got this far away look in his eyes for a minute, then said 'no.' He was probably thinking about you. Tell me what happened."

Sam glanced at Bev then looked out the window. "It's a long story."

Bev looked at her watch. "Well, I've got about an hour before the evening rush starts, so tell me if you want to. If you don't want to talk about it, just tell me to mind my own business."

Sam grinned. "Mind your own business, Bev."

The two women looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Sam began to feel a little better. It felt good to have someone to laugh with.

Bev tilted her head, looked into Sam's eyes and waited.

Sam took a deep breath. "Jack was my commanding officer for a long time. I was attracted to him from the day we met."

Bev grinned. "I can see why."

"Over time, we became very close, saved each other's lives countless times."

"But you can't tell me about those times, classified information and all that."

"That's right."

"Go on."

"At one point we admitted that we cared about each other but Air Force regulations kept us apart."

Bev shook her head. "That's a shame."

"I didn't think Jack and I could ever be together, because of those regulations, so I married a man that was all wrong for me. Then we lost a baby and that ended our marriage."

Tears came to Sam's eyes. Bev reached into her pocket, pulled out a little packet of tissues and handed them to Sam. She took one and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sam. That must have been very hard."

"Over the last few months, I've come to realize that Jack is the only man I'll ever love. I know I hurt him so badly when I married Pete, my ex-husband. I came here to see Jack and told him how I feel. I asked him to forgive me but Jack doesn't forgive easily so I don't know what he'll do."

Sam's eyes filled with tears once again.

Bev reached for Sam's hand and squeezed it. "Give him time, Sam. Men don't like to be pushed to make decisions. If he truly loves you, he'll forgive you for hurting him. He probably loves you just as much as you love him."

"I told him I'd be here until Sunday and he has my cell phone number. I'm so afraid he won't call."

"I wouldn't try to contact him. The ball is in his court, so to speak. Let him make the next move."

Sam tried to smile. "It does make me feel better to talk about this, Bev. Thanks."

"Any time, honey. I hope you and Jack work this out. I like to think I'm a pretty good judge of character and I can tell that you're a kind person and would never intentionally hurt anyone and if I'm right, Jack still has feelings for you."

"You really think so?"

"Yes, I do. He never mentions another woman, never brings anyone with him when he comes here. He's always by himself. I don't think Jack is the kind of man that would use other women to make himself feel better. If you're still in his heart, he isn't going to try to replace you with someone else, not until he's over you."

Sam took a deep breath. "I'm tired. I think I'll go back to the hotel. Could I have my check please?"

Bev quickly did some calculations, gave Sam the bill and she handed some money to Bev. "That's your tip."

"That's too much."

Sam shook her head. "Take it, you deserve it."

Bev grinned. "Thanks, Sam. I hope you'll come back while you're here. We can chat again and next time we'll talk about something besides Jack and you can try a slice of pie."

Sam smiled. "Thanks. I'd like that."

Bev watched as Sam paid her bill and left, hoping that she and Jack could work out their differences.

--

Jack went back to work on the tree that he had abandoned when Sam arrived.

He swung the axe as he thought about Sam, the day they had met, the instant attraction he had felt for her and how close their friendship became the longer they knew each other.

He would lie awake on far away planets and watch her sleep, wanting so much to reach out and touch her but couldn't, knowing he was not allowed. He thought about the times he felt his heart would stop when she was hurt, injured or missing. She had slipped so easily into his heart and became a huge part of his life.

Swinging the axe even harder, he remembered the day on the elevator when Sam had started humming and told him about Pete. Not too long after that, he felt as if Sam had stabbed him in the heart when she showed him the engagement ring.

Harder and harder he pounded the wood. His hands and shoulders began to ache and he suddenly stopped as tears stung his eyes and he tried not to cry.

The axe slipped from his grasp as he sat down hard on the ground and covered his face with his hands. Tears spilled from his eyes as he realized that he had locked down his emotions since that day at his house when they had argued.

Taking a deep breath he looked out over his pond. Losing her to Pete had left a bruise on his soul. He had thought he was adjusting to not having her in his life, but he had to admit that he had been lying to himself. Nothing had changed, he still loved her and it still hurt. The only other time he could remember feeling like this was when Charlie died.

He wiped his eyes as Lady came running to him and stopped. She stared and turned her head as if realizing that something was wrong with her master. She lay down beside him as Jack reached out and petted her.

He sat there for several minutes before slowly standing and picked up the axe to finish cutting up the tree.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jack looked at the clock, it was almost dawn. Thoughts of Sam and everything she had said to him had filled his head all night and he had slept very little.

His cat jumped up on the bed, lay down beside him on her back and stretched. The cat purred as he rubbed her tummy. After a few minutes, she turned over on her side. Something outside caught her attention and she jumped off the bed. Jack watched as she put her front paws on the window sill, straightened her back and stretched her neck. She stood completely still, staring at something in the trees.

"Curious, aren't you? Just like your namesake."

Just as he started into the bathroom, he glanced at the piece of paper on top of the dresser where he had left it the night before. He picked it up and looked at the phone number as the thought came to mind that he should tear it into tiny pieces and forget that Sam had ever come here. He stared at it a moment longer then walked into the bathroom.

--

Sam jerked awake, threw back the covers, put her feet on the floor and gripped the edge of the mattress. Her heart beat rapidly as she realized she had been dreaming about Jack and the day they had argued about her wedding at his house.

After taking a warm shower and getting dressed, she wondered what she could do today. The hotel room felt claustrophobic and she knew she couldn't just sit there, waiting for a call that might not come. She needed something to keep her busy so she wouldn't dwell on Jack.

She went downstairs for breakfast, stopped at the front desk and inquired about different things to do in the town. The man at the desk told her where an arts and crafts fair was currently taking place. He also mentioned a movie theater, shopping mall and antique shops. When she said she would like to get some exercise, preferably outdoors, he told her about some hiking trails and their location.

After breakfast she got into her car and followed the directions. She realized the hiking trails were not far from Jack's cabin and Bev's diner.

She found a parking space, locked the car, put the key in her pocket with her cell phone and took off up a winding trail. She walked for a good while, taking her time and occasionally stopping to look at the scenery and breathe the fresh air. She finally came to the crest of the hill, overlooking the valley below. Sitting down on a large rock to admire the beauty, it wasn't long before she remembered why she had come to this town. Feeling a chill, she pulled her jacket tighter around her. She drew her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around her legs and laid her head on her knees. The tears started again but she quickly fought them, not wanting to cry any more.

She sat there for a long time, contemplating what her next move would be if Jack didn't call. She knew she would soon have to return to the Springs and check on her house. The thought ran through her head to take General Hammond's offer but she quickly dismissed it.

She had enough money to live comfortably for a while so she could take her time about deciding what she wanted to do next.

The sun was getting higher in the sky. Feeling too warm, she stood and stretched, then took off her jacket and draped it around her shoulders. It felt good to be active again. She took her time as she followed another trail which led back to the parking area.

She followed the directions to the fair. The place was quite busy as she wandered around and found some gifts for Daniel and Teal'c.

She came to a booth with handmade quilts. Looking closely at the fine detail of each, she ran her hand along the smooth fabric as a lady sitting inside the booth greeted her.

"Hello."

"Oh, hi. These are beautiful."

"Thank you. I make them and sell them here every year. There are different sizes, designs and colors so feel free to browse."

Sam looked at several until she came to one with an intricate circle design with pretty colors. The woman helped her pull it off the rack and Sam paid her for it. The woman thanked her as she put the quilt into a large bag and handed it to her.

Sam stopped at several more booths but the quilt was getting heavy so she returned to her car. She looked at her watch to see that it was almost one o'clock and she was getting hungry. The thought came to mind that she would drop by the diner and sample one of Joe's pies.

She pulled into the parking lot and went inside. A teenage girl led her to a booth just as Bev came out of the kitchen, carrying three plates of food. After placing the food on the table in front of her customers, she glanced up and saw Sam.

"Hi, Bev."

"Sam, you're back. What you been up to today?" she asked with a grin as she sat down across from her.

"Went hiking on the trails not far from here, went to the fair and bought a beautiful quilt."

Bev grinned. "Woman in her late 60's?"

"Yes. You know her?"

"She's a friend of mine. She's very talented and does extraordinary work."

Bev looked up as the door opened and her eyes grew wide, then looked back at Sam.

Seeing Bev's expression change, Sam turned to see who she was looking at, then quickly turned back around and closed her eyes. "Oh no" she whispered.

Jack saw Bev and smiled, then noticed who she was sitting with and the smile suddenly faded.

"Oh for cryin' out loud" he mumbled as he stuck his hands in his pockets.

'Now this should be interesting' Bev thought as she glanced at Sam, then stood and walked toward Jack.

"Jack, it's so good to see you."

"Hey, Bev."

Bev could see the tension on Jack's face. "Come on. You can sit over here." As Bev walked toward Sam, Jack hesitated for a moment then followed. Bev started to seat Jack in the booth next to Sam but as he came closer to her, he stopped and she looked up at him.

"Carter. Fancy meetin' you here."

"Hello, Jack" she said shyly.

"You two know each other?" Bev tried to ask innocently and she saw Sam glare at her, knowing darn well that they knew each other.

Jack frowned. "Uh, yeah, we know each other."

"Well, in that case, why don't you sit with Sam and you can eat together."

Sam glared at Bev once more but Bev ignored her and Jack slowly sat down across from her.

"I'll get menus." Bev turned to leave, looked back over her shoulder and winked at Sam.

Jack and Sam gazed around the diner, avoiding eye contact.

Bev returned, handed each a menu and set down two glasses of water. "Now Sam, don't forget, you have to try a piece of Joe's pie. They're really good, aren't they Jack?"

Jack glanced up at her. "Yeah, they're very good."

"Take your time. Be back in a few minutes."

Bev made a beeline for the kitchen.

"Joe!"

Joe quickly turned around and looked at his wife. "What?"

"You know that woman I told you about that came in here yesterday, the one that's in love with Jack O'Neill?"

"Yeah."

Bev grinned. "She's back and just guess who came in a few minutes after she did."

"And you put them at the same table, didn't you?"

"I certainly did."

"Now Bev, don't you go interfering in their lives. It's none of your business."

"Oh Joe, for heaven sake, what's wrong with giving them a little push?"

Joe shook his head and turned back to his work.

Sam and Jack stole glances of each other over the tops of their menus until Sam laid hers down and picked up her purse. "I'll leave, Jack. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Jack reached over and put his hand on her arm.

"You're not making me uncomfortable, Sam." His eyes softened as he slowly removed his hand from her arm. "I don't have any problem with us eating lunch together since we've done it dozens of times."

"Not under these circumstances."

"Please. Stay."

She put her purse down and placed the napkin back on her lap, but couldn't bring herself to look at Jack.

Bev watched, thinking what an attractive couple they would make. She gave them a few more minutes, then came back to their table.

"Okay. What'll it be?"

They gave Bev their orders, then Jack picked up a glass of water and took a sip. "So, you met Bev."

"Yes. I went for a drive yesterday afternoon and I hadn't eaten all day so I stopped here. Bev and I chatted for a few minutes."

Jack nodded his head. "Bev has a good heart."

About that time, Joe walked up beside them and he and Jack shook hands.

"How are you?"

"Fine, Joe. Just fine."

Joe looked at Sam. "Want to introduce me to this pretty lady?"

"Joe, Samantha Carter. This is Joe, Bev's husband."

Sam held out her hand and smiled. "Please call me Sam. It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise."

"Sam and I used to work together."

"You were in the Air Force with Jack?"

"Yes, he was my CO for several years."

"Several years? How on Earth did you put up with him for several years?" Joe teased.

Sam grinned. "Oh, we had our moments but I wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world."

Jack grinned and stared at her.

"Gonna be here long?"

Sam glanced at Jack. "I'm not sure. It . . . depends."

"Well, you're welcome to eat here any time. Bev loves to talk with our customers so feel free to drop in."

Sam smiled. "Thanks, I'll remember that."

"We still on for poker next week, Jack?"

Jack nodded his head. "Wouldn't miss it."

Joe put his hand on Sam's shoulder. "You know, Jack usually wins when we get together with some friends to play poker but I enjoy his company so I don't mind too much" he said with a wink.

Sam smiled. "He has a great poker face. You never know what he's thinking."

Jack stared at Sam wondering how she would react if she knew what he was thinking at that moment. He wanted to pull her off the seat, wrap her in his arms and kiss her senseless.

Bev came with their food and Joe turned to face her. "Bev, give Sam a piece of pie, on the house."

"Joe, that isn't necessary" Sam protested.

Joe smiled. "Any friend of Jack's is a friend of mine."

Jack looked up at Joe. "You've never given me a free piece of pie."

"No, don't guess I have. But since it's my diner, Jack, I can give away free pie if I want to."

Sam and Bev started to laugh as Jack put up his hands. "Okay, Okay."

Joe chuckled as he walked back to his kitchen.

Bev left them alone but watched from behind the counter as they picked at their food, noticing that conversation between them was sporadic at best.

Sam nervously pushed around the food on her plate with her fork. "Have you uh . . . have you given any thought to what I said yesterday?"

'That's all I've been thinking about' Jack thought as he sat up straighter. "Yes but . . . I'm not . . ."

"You're not . . . what?"

"I'm not ready to talk about it yet. You showing up here was such a shock and you telling me that you love . . . it'll take some time to figure out what I want to happen or don't want to happen."

Sam nodded her head and Jack could see the pain in her eyes.

"I'm not giving you the brush-off, Sam. I'm just not ready to talk about it. It's only been one day and . . ."

"I understand and I'm not trying to rush you. I just . . ."

Bev could see Sam biting her lip and Jack looking miserable so she thought now would be a good time to interrupt.

"Okay, you two. How about that slice of pie? Sam, what's your favorite?"

Sam looked up at Bev and she could see tears in Sam's eyes.

Sam cleared her throat. "Uh, apple, I guess."

Jack glanced at Bev. "I'll have the same."

"Two slices of apple pie comin' up. How about some coffee to go with the pie?"

"That would be good" Jack answered and Bev walked away.

Jack leaned across the table. "Just give me some time to think, Sam. Okay?"

"Sure" she whispered as she clutched the napkin in her lap and they sat in silence.

Bev returned with the pie.

Sam picked up her fork and put a bite in her mouth. "Oh my, this is delicious."

Bev grinned. "I told you. Enjoy every morsel."

Bev glanced at them occasionally as she went about her work. 'Maybe the longer they sit here the more likely they will be to talk' she thought as she carried the coffee pot to their table.

"More coffee?" she asked, trying to prolong their time together.

"No thanks" they both answered.

Sam looked up at Bev. "The meal was wonderful. Please tell Joe the pie was delicious but I need to be going. Could I have my check please?"

Bev quickly wrote down the total and handed Sam her check.

"Please come back, Sam. I'd love to get to know you better."

Sam tried to smile. "Thanks."

Sam stood up and looked at Jack as their eyes met. "Bye, Jack."

"Bye, Sam."

Jack watched as Sam paid the cashier, then stared at her as she got into her car and drove away.

Bev sat down across from Jack.

"You love her don't you? No, let me rephrase that. You're _in_ love with her."

Jack frowned.

Bev grinned as she clasped her hands on top of the table. "Yeah, I thought so. Look Jack, I know I have a way of butting in sometimes where I'm not wanted, but I'll be honest with you."

Jack looked into her eyes.

"Sam and I talked yesterday. She walked in here and although she and I had never met, I could tell by the look on her face that something was wrong and I told her so. I sat down with her and we started talking. She said she had left the Air Force and I happened to mention that Joe and I had a friend who had retired from the Air Force and when I mentioned your name, she almost choked on the water she was drinking. That's how I found out that you two know each other. She told me about the regulations that kept you apart all those years, about her marriage to the wrong guy and losing her baby. She said she told you how she feels about you. She's so scared you won't forgive her."

Jack sighed. "I had such high hopes that Sam and I would one day be together but that isn't how it turned out. It hurt when she married Pete, Bev. I knew she was making a mistake from the moment she told me she was engaged."

"Why?"

"Everything that Sam and I did for the Air Force was classified. Pete was a cop. When he and Sam started dating, Sam couldn't tell him anything about her job. His curiosity got the best of him and he ran a background check on her. Instead of backing off and letting it drop when he could find very little information on Sam, he . . . well let's just say he got involved in something that he shouldn't have, he stuck his nose in where it didn't belong. He didn't trust her. The day before their wedding, Sam and I had a fight. I tried to tell her she was making a huge mistake but she wouldn't listen, and from what she told me yesterday, he didn't trust her the whole time they were married. Now she shows up here telling me she loves me and asked me to forgive her. I don't know if I can."

Bev patted Jack's hand.

"I'm sorry. You're both hurting. Yes, she made a mistake. We all make mistakes in life, Jack. Some of those mistakes can be corrected and others we just have to accept them, let it go and move on. But sometimes life gives us a second chance and this is yours and Sam's. Anyone could see that Sam is so in love with you, she's nuts about you."

Jack put his hand to his mouth and stared at the table as tears moistened his eyes.

"You know, when Charlie died and you and Sara divorced, I worried about you. When you were at your cabin, you would come in here and we would talk. I could see how miserable you were and I was hoping that something good would happen to take away that guilt and misery you were feeling. Well, it did. Sam came into your life. You lost Charlie and divorced Sara. Sam's marriage unraveled and she lost her baby. You both deserve some happiness. I know you have your pride but don't let it keep you apart. Life is too short, Jack, to not take advantage of a situation and make something wonderful from it when you have the chance. You didn't see the sadness in her eyes when she told me she hurt you. She deeply regrets it. Do you really want to live without Sam? I have a feeling you two would make each other extremely happy."

"I loved Sara, I really did, Bev, but Sam is different. She knows me so well, better than Sara or any other woman ever has. But trusting her . . . that's something else. I have to give some serious thought to this. I don't want to make any hasty decisions."

"You're right. This shouldn't be a hasty decision but think of it this way. Picture the rest of your life. Is Sam in that picture? Do you want her to be? Can you see the two of you sharing the rest of your lives and growing old together or are you going to let this opportunity pass you by? Please, for both your sakes, find it in your heart to forgive her."

Without waiting for a response, Bev squeezed Jack's hand, stood up and walked away.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Jack sat in his cabin the next day as Lady lay in front of the fireplace. Sam, the cat, wandered in and lay down beside her. Lady looked at Sam, then put her head down between her paws. They both closed their eyes and went to sleep.

The cloudy day outside matched Jack's mood as his thoughts turned to what Bev had said. He had already admitted to himself that he still loved Sam, but could he risk getting his heart broken again? Part of him wanted to call her but part of him resisted.

His cell phone rang.

"Hello."

"Jack, how ya doin?"

"I'm peachy, Daniel, just peachy" he said sarcastically.

"Well, you don't sound too peachy, Jack. What's going on?"

Daniel heard only silence. "Okay, you don't want to talk. I'll call later. Bye."

"No, no. Don't hang up."

"What's wrong, Jack?"

"She showed up here day before yesterday."

"She? She who?"

"Carter . . . uh, Sam. Why didn't you tell me she had left the Air Force?"

"Well, I started to but since neither one of you ever wants to discuss the other, I just didn't. She was unhappy is why she left. Unhappy about how her marriage turned out and the divorce. Even though she had a great career, it wasn't enough. She lost her drive and her passion, Jack. She couldn't take being at Stargate Command any longer, the place held too many memories of you. She missed you and she was miserable. Teal'c and I tried to talk her out of leaving. General Hammond also tried but she was adamant about it. I guess . . ."

"Guess what?"

"I guess she told you about the baby."

Jack leaned back on the sofa. "Yes, she did. I was sorry to hear that. Sam would be a terrific mom."

"I wanted to tell you when it happened but she wouldn't let me."

"I know."

"What else did she say?"

"She . . ."

Daniel waited.

"She told me she loves me."

A smile came to Daniel's face. "She did?"

"She did."

"And you said?"

"I didn't say anything. I just sat there."

Daniel shook his head. "Typical Jack O'Neill reaction."

"You know I'm not good at 'feelings' stuff" he moaned.

"Do I ever."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I know you're not good at 'feelings' stuff. Ever since I've known you, you never want to talk about your feelings with anyone."

There was a long silence.

"So, what are you going to do, Jack?"

"She gave me her cell phone number, she's staying at a hotel. Said she'd be here until Sunday."

"You going to call her?"

"I don't know. She hurt me when she married Pete."

"Yes I know, but she apparently apologized."

"Yes."

"Jack, Sam realizes she made a mistake but she wasn't the only one at fault in this complicated relationship."

Jack rubbed his eyes and spoke softly. "I know."

"You're still in love with her."

"Yes, I don't deny it."

"You two are really something, you know that? You've been in love with each other for years and you still can't work it out."

"I love her, Daniel, but trusting her, that's another matter. She has no idea what I went through when she married Pete and then she shows up here asking me to forgive her."

"I know she hurt you but you hurt her too. It had been four years since the zatarc test and neither one of you had mentioned it since it happened so she thought you didn't care any more. Instead of giving her a chance to choose between you and Pete, you did nothing. You just let her go and didn't say anything until the day before her wedding, then you threw her out of your house. Do you regret that?"

"Yes."

"You love her. She loves you. Here's my suggestion. First of all, call her. Get together and talk. Avoiding her is not going to solve anything. You need to open up to her, Jack, be honest with her. Tell her everything you're feeling, the good and the bad, get it all out in the open. Let her be honest with you too."

"She was very clear about her feelings."

"That's good. You need to do the same. Talking is the only way you're ever going to get everything resolved."

"I guess you're right."

"You and Sam are my closest friends, other than Teal'c, and I want both of you to be happy. But you're not going to be happy until you're together, right now you're both miserable. Teal'c and I witnessed you and Sam hide your feelings for years because of the regulations. When Sam married Pete, she came back from her honeymoon and I told her that you weren't here any longer. From the look on her face, I thought she was going to be sick and she literally had to sit down for a few minutes. I told her that you couldn't bear to see her every day. She tried to deal with you being gone but she missed you terribly. She and Pete started having problems. When she had the accident and lost the baby, I had never seen her so depressed. I wanted to tell you but she wouldn't let me. She needed you more than she had ever needed you before. Teal'c and I watched all of this happen and knew we couldn't do anything to help except offer our friendship and support. And now, you two finally have this chance to get it right. Swallow your pride and talk to her. Don't blow it, Jack."

--

The next morning after his conversation with Daniel and another sleepless night, Jack picked up the piece of paper that Sam had given him. He wanted to trust her, he really did. He wanted her with him for the rest of their lives. He could picture them getting married and Sam being pregnant. He could imagine them with their children, doing all those family things: fishing on the dock; hikes in the woods; picnics in the summer; building snowmen in the winter; see their children tear into their presents on Christmas morning and watch their children grow up. He could picture Sam and himself becoming even closer as they grew old together.

He walked to the window as tears came to his eyes and a thought ran through his head: being in love was indescribably beautiful but being hurt was unbelievable pain.

Turning from the window he quickly wiped his eyes, picked up his cell phone, took a deep breath and punched in her number.

--

Sam pulled into the parking lot of a large park, got out of her car and walked slowly around the grounds. After walking for awhile, she sat down on a bench as couples strolled by holding hands and watched as two teenagers threw a frisbee back and forth.

A woman came down the sidewalk pushing a stroller and holding the hand of a little girl about three years of age. The woman was just a few feet from her when the baby in the stroller began to cry. The woman stopped and picked up the baby. Sam watched as she gently bounced the baby in her arms and whispered to it.

Sam had to look away as a lump came to her throat and her eyes stung with tears. 'That could have been me and my baby' she thought to herself as she tried not to cry.

Her cell phone rang. She sniffed back the tears and quickly got the phone from her pocket.

"Hello."

"Sam."

Sam sat up on the edge of the bench. "Hi, Jack."

Jack paced the floor. "I was wondering uh . . . if you could . . . if we could . . . maybe . . . get together and . . . talk."

"I'd like that."

"Uh, okay. So, why don't you come here . . . to the cabin."

"Now?"

"Yes, unless you're busy."

"No, I'm not. I'll be right there."

"Okay. Bye."

Jack hung up the phone and felt his knees getting weak so he sat down on the bed.

Sam ran all the way back to her car, got in and gripped the steering wheel to keep her hands from shaking.

Her heart was beating fast as she drove up the familiar dirt road.

She got out of the car and just as she walked up on the porch, Jack opened the door and they looked into each other's eyes.

Jack could see that she was just as nervous as he was.

"Uh, let's sit on the dock." Sam followed and they sat down side by side in two lawn chairs.

Sam clasped her hands in her lap to keep them from shaking.

Jack gripped the arm of the chair with one hand and tapped the fingers of his other hand on his leg.

Sam looked out over the pond he had told her so much about over the years.

"I can see why you love it here. It's beautiful."

Jack nodded his head as Sam waited for him to say something.

They sat in silence a few moments and Jack glanced at her. "I've been thinking . . . about what you said."

Sam couldn't bring herself to look at him so she focused on a tree across the pond. "And?"

"I think . . . I think there are things we need to discuss."

"I agree."

"First of all, I know it took a lot of nerve to come see me."

"It wasn't easy but I had to apologize and tell you how I feel."

"I can hardly believe you gave up the Air Force and left the SGC since I know how much you loved your job."

"I just didn't feel I belonged there any more. It was never the same after . . . after you left. Too many memories and I no longer enjoyed what I was doing."

Jack watched her knuckles turn white.

"Sam, I knew I couldn't stay there after you and . . . after your wedding. It would have been too hard to see you every day and know that we would never have the chance to be together like I had hoped we would. I know it had been eight years but I would have waited another eight if that's what it would've taken. I never would have given up on us."

Tears pooled in Sam's eyes. "I ruined everything, didn't I?"

"I know you wanted a normal life, a husband and kids. I understand that, I really do. But I was hoping you'd have that with me and I was willing to wait. After we admitted our feelings for each other with Anise's nifty machine, I kept hanging on to that hope, that some day the system lords would be defeated, we wouldn't have to deal with the replicators any more and I could retire and we could be together, no matter how long it took."

Jack paused.

"I'm trying to be honest here and for once in my life be open with my feelings instead of shutting down like I usually do."

Sam wiped her eyes and looked at him. "I know you are and I want you to be."

Jack took a deep breath. "I kept thinking that we could still be friends, but after the day we argued at my house, I knew I couldn't see you any more. I couldn't go to the base and work with you and act like things were the same because they weren't and they never would be again. I wanted you to be happy but the selfish part of me wanted you with me and not Pete or anyone else. I had to be gone by the time you returned from your honeymoon. I knew we would never have our chance and facing you again was something I couldn't handle."

Jack stood up walked to the edge of the dock and put his hands in his pockets but kept his back to her. "The only thing that has ever upset me as much was when a bullet ripped through my son."

Sam stared at her hands as she tried not to cry.

Jack continued. "Hammond tried to talk me out of resigning. He knew the real reason I couldn't stay, he hadn't been blind to my feelings for you all those years, so he reluctantly let me go."

He turned to face her and raised his voice. "You gave up on us, Sam. Do you know how much that hurt?" He put his hand over his heart and tears came to his eyes. "You don't know what I went through the day you got married."

Sam put both hands to her mouth as tears spilled from her eyes.

"I loved Sara but my feelings for you went even deeper. The day we confessed our feelings for each other, I should have told you I didn't want things to stay as they had been. I shouldn't have agreed to leaving it in that room. I know you were trying to keep us from getting court martialed and you still had your career to think about."

Jack took a deep breath.

"I should've talked to you that day or soon thereafter but we pushed our feelings back under the rug where they had always been, left it in that room and acted like nothing had happened. We both made that mistake."

Jack stopped and swallowed the lump in his throat. "We should have found a way to be together right then and I was willing to try but you weren't. And now with everything that's happened since then, maybe we let it go too long."

Sam wiped her eyes. "Are you . . . are you saying you can't forgive me, that it's too late for us?"

Jack sat back down and put his elbows on his knees as he ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know."

Sam suddenly stood, walked to the place where Jack had just been standing and took deep breaths before turning to face him as he stared at the ground.

"I'm sorry, Jack. How many times do I have to say it? I'm not perfect, I've never claimed to be. I'm just a human being who made the big mistake of marrying the wrong person. Yes, I wanted a family and as much as I wanted that with you, I didn't think it could ever happen. I don't know what else to say to you to get across how much I regret messing up both of our lives. If you can't forgive me, if you don't trust me, then I guess there's nothing left to say."

Jack looked up and they could see the pain in each other's eyes.

"Goodbye, Jack."

Sam hurriedly walked past him and headed to her car as Jack clasped his hands to the back of his neck and tears spilled down his cheeks.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Tears blurred Sam's vision as she hurried around the side of the cabin, thinking she had lost Jack forever and would never see him again. She got in her car, put her hands on top of the steering wheel, leaned her head on her hands and sobbed. She sat there for a few moments catching her breath and blinking back tears, then started the car and drove away from the cabin.

Jack tried to rein in his emotions and suddenly remembered what Bev had said. "Picture the rest of your life, Jack. Is Sam in that picture? Do you want her to be?" He knew in that instant he couldn't let her walk out of his life.

Quickly wiping his face, he ran to his truck as he got his keys out of his pocket, then backed out the truck and sped down the road.

Just as Sam was about to reach the main highway, she heard someone blowing a horn repeatedly and looked in the rear view mirror to see Jack coming up fast behind her. She wasn't sure what to think as she quickly stopped, put the car in the parking gear and waited.

Jack stopped the truck, got out and ran to her. He quickly opened the door, pulled her out, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.

Recovering from the initial shock of Jack's lips on hers, Sam's arms went quickly around him. She slid her arms up his back and grasped his shoulders. The kiss became soft and tender as they relaxed in each other's arms. Realizing they had to breathe, they stopped and gazed into each other's eyes, then kissed again. It seemed they couldn't get close enough as they hugged each other tighter.

The kiss ended and Jack wrapped her in his arms as she placed her hands and forehead against his chest and cried. Minutes passed and neither one dared to move.

Jack put his hand on the back of her head and finally spoke. "You're not getting away from me this time."

He pushed her back and put his hands on her shoulders. "You got that?"

Sam tried to smile and nodded her head but words failed her as new tears appeared. Jack hugged her to him again.

After standing in each other's arms for a few minutes more, Jack put his hands to her face and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks with this thumbs as he looked into her eyes. "I love you too, Samantha."

Feeling overwhelmed, Sam took deep breaths but she couldn't speak.

"Come on, let's go back" he said.

Arriving at the cabin, they parked their vehicles and went inside.

He went into the bathroom and grabbed a box of tissues, came back and handed it to Sam.

"Thank you" she whispered. As she wiped her face, Jack could see that she was trembling so he led her to the sofa. They sat down and looked at each other.

"Do you forgive me?" she whispered.

"I'll forgive you if you'll forgive me."

"What changed your mind? Why did you come after me?"

Jack took her hands in his. "I remembered something Bev said."

"What was that?"

"She told me to picture the rest of my life and asked if you were in that picture. I want you with me in that picture, Sam. When you walked away, I knew I couldn't let you go."

He paused as Sam wiped her eyes again.

"It scared me when you came here and told me you love me. As much as I wanted to hear it, when I finally did . . . it shocked me and all those doubts of whether I could trust you ran through my head and just confused me. As you know, talking about my feelings is not something I do, but I should have spoken up and told you how I felt when you got engaged but I didn't. We've both been at fault, but I want to put that behind us, I want us to work this out. I don't want to be sitting here in this cabin all alone when I'm really old, regretting not giving us a chance."

Tears appeared once again in Sam's eyes and Jack ran his hands up and down her arms.

"You okay?"

Sam nodded her head. "Happy tears" she whispered.

Jack smiled, pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her as she laid her head on his shoulder.

A few moments passed in silence.

Trying to relieve the tension, he gave her a tight hug. "Hey, Carter, wanna go fishin'?"

Sam burst out laughing and leaned back to look at him. "Yes, Jack. I would love to finally go fishing with you."

He grinned at her. "Sweet!"

They talked into the night about where they had both made mistakes in their long relationship, discussing the times they had hurt each other. At long last, they were finally ready to let the past be the past and agreed they wanted to start a life together. Acknowledging their feelings out loud had been that all important first step.

**Two months later:**

Bev came out of the kitchen and headed to the front of the diner to lock up for the night when someone opened the door. A smile lit up her face when she saw who it was.

Bev held out her arms to hug Sam. "Hey, you two. Welcome back."

Sam grinned and returned the hug. "Hi, Bev."

"How ya doin', Bev?" Jack asked as he gave her a gentle hug.

"I'm good. How was the honeymoon?"

Jack put his arm around Sam's shoulder as smiles lit up their faces. "It was wonderful" Sam answered.

Bev motioned them to a booth. "Let's sit down. Joe is finishing up in the kitchen."

As soon as Jack and Sam were seated, he put his arm back around her shoulder and Sam sat as close to him as she could.

Bev grinned. "How was your trip?"

Sam smiled. "We had a fantastic time in Italy. The people were friendly, the weather was great, the food was delicious and Jack got to practice his Italian while we were there."

"You speak Italian?" Bev asked as her eyes grew big.

Jack nodded his head. "Yeah, and a few other languages."

"Well, my goodness, I never knew that. I should have guessed though since you were in the military for so long and have been to so many different countries."

Bev paused for a moment.

"So, have you decided where you're going to live? I do hope you're not moving back to Colorado Springs, Joe and I would miss you terribly."

Sam glanced at Jack and smiled. "We're staying here. I'm afraid I could never pry Jack away from his cabin."

Jack squeezed her shoulder and grinned. "Got that right."

Sam continued. "I'm selling my house in Colorado, we'll have to go back to take care of that and our former teammates want to have a party for us while we're there."

"Are you going to keep working, Sam?"

"Yes. Just before we were married, I had an interview for a teaching position at Minnesota State. When we got home, there was a message on the answering machine letting me know that I got the job. When the new school year begins, I'll be teaching science and physics. It'll be quite different from working for the Air Force, but it'll be nice to be in a normal routine."

Jack smiled. "You don't know Sam like I do, Bev. She's not the kind of woman that can sit around and do nothing for long, she has to stay busy. These college kids have no idea what they're in for, she'll work 'em to death."

Bev laughed and Sam gently punched Jack in his side with her elbow. "I won't be that bad . . . I don't think."

A twinkle came to Bev's eyes. "I know I'm being nosey here, like I'm known to be on occasion . . ."

"You? Nosey? Naaahhh" Jack teased her.

Sam started to laugh and Bev gently hit Jack on the hand as she grinned. "Okay, okay, I know I'm nosey."

Sam put her hand on Bev's. "What do you want to ask us?"

"I was just wondering if you're going to have to put an extension on the cabin for any future children."

"Very good possibility" Jack answered as he winked at Bev and Sam slipped her hand into Jack's as they held hands on top of the table.

Bev grinned. "I would love to baby sit."

Sam nodded her head. "We'll take you up on the offer."

"Were Lady and Sam any trouble while we were gone?" Jack asked.

"Not at all. Joe and I loved having them around. I've never seen a dog and cat get along as well as those two. They're so cute together, almost inseparable. I'm sure they'll be glad to see you though so they can get back to their own house."

Joe came out from the kitchen and they all stood as he welcomed them home. Joe struck up a conversation with Jack and they headed to the door together as they talked.

Bev put her arm around Sam's waist and gave her a squeeze. "I'm so glad we'll get to see more of you, Sam, and I'm happy to know that you and Jack worked out your problems."

Tears moistened Sam's eyes. "We forgave each other, Bev. I shutter to think what would have become of both of us if we hadn't. I love Jack so much."

Bev smiled. "I know you do, honey, it's written all over your face and I can see how much Jack loves you. It's been a very long time since I've seen him this happy. Take good care of him."

Sam smiled. "I will, Bev. I promise I will."

The End


End file.
